Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.

I hate the way I feel around him, like I’m pathetic, like he has all the power. It actually depresses me a little bit that I can’t have him, not much but enough to be noticeable. The sad part is, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. And no, it’s not just because I’m lonely, ( Read more... )

Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.

So, as you may have noticed, I’m currently online. Thankfully, Aaron has been letting me stay at his place occasionally for the price of gas money to get me and drop me off again.

A lot has been happening lately, and for once there are more than a few bits that I’m not ( Read more... )

Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.

Love? She had no way to understand the concept. Some who had shared her bed had called that love, but she was fairly certain the woman (sorry, the goddess) lecturing her did not quite mean that particular type of love. According to the flimsy woman (definitely not a ( Read more... )

Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.

You ever get one of those days where nonexistence sounds like a good idea? Yeah, today’s one of those. I didn’t realize I was taking this being-single thing so seriously. I mean, I shouldn’t be this lonely without a significant other, right? But I am. And boy, is it ( Read more... )

Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.

Okay, so there’s this Facebook application I use called “Fortune Products.” One of the bits in that big all-encompassing title are these love-themed fortune cookies. Well, they keep giving me these oddly appropriate ones. This is just the latest (for those who don’t know ( Read more... )

Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.

I’m starting to have hope again, and that’s even scarier than not having any. I mean, some things I know will never be to my liking, but those I can get over, right? I mean hell, I got over Baltes, didn’t I? Though admittedly, I only did because of what he told me when I ( Read more... )

Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.

Cried myself to sleep last night. Haven’t done that in awhile. Just to give you an idea of how I feel lately.

I just wish something, anything would go right for once. I’m about to be homeless, which is going to force me to move in with my parents because all my friends ( Read more... )

Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.

I am pathetic. Completely, totally, absolutely, utterly pathetic. I should never listen to my heart. I mean, look at the horrible places it’s led me before: Baltes, RapistMatt, Jim… So why, oh why, can I not stop listening? I mean seriously, listening to that damn skip has ( Read more... )

Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.

I find myself getting more jaded by the day, and I’m fairly certain it’s not the depression. People are starting to show their true selves to me, and it’s quickly reminding me that I’m an anti-humanist for a reason. I mean seriously, lately, a lot of my “friends” are ( Read more... )

Originally published at VampAmber's Clutter. Please leave any comments there.

So yeah, I think I’ve decided something. I’m going to stop looking. Now that my brain is working a little bit better, i realized that I probably didn’t love all those guys I’ve been going after lately, I’ve just loved one or more qualities they’ve possessed. So I’m going ( Read more... )